Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the

captain:"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have

lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were

somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an

emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that

all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the

swimmers are on the right side of the plane.

After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to

comply with the captain's request.

Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The

captain once again made an announcement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the

swimmers on the right side of the plane open your emergency exits and

quickly swim away from the plane.

For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You for

Flying Lufthansa- ".

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------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Delta Airlines

At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding

announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address

system saying,

"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board

from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570

would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our

carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank You

for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

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British Airways

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to

welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London .

We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the

Atlantic."

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,

you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that

the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean , you will see a little

yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your

captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses"

we can learn something from how people became millionares in America. i hope you all will find this writing of Brian Tracy interesting.

Who Are the Millionaires?

By: Brian Tracy

The way you think about money will determine how
much of it you accumulate more than any other
factor. Your attitude toward money affects your
emotions and your motivations.

The Five Ways To Become A Millionaire

If you are really serious about becoming wealthy,
you will want to know the five main ways that
fortunes are made in this country. Number one, top
of the list, top of the hit parade throughout the
history of America, is self-owned businesses. It is
entrepreneurship of all kinds, including in real
estate. 74% of self-made millionaires in America,
not only in this generation and in this century, but
in the last century as well, come from self owned
businesses.

How Wealthy People Start Out

The great majority of wealthy people started
businesses and built them from the ground up. In the
19th century, fortunes were built by people like
Andrew Carnegie, Jacob van Astor, Thomas Edison,
Commodore Vanderbilt, J. P. Morgan and others. In
the 20th century, especially in the last few years,
businesses and fortunes alike have been built by
people like Bill Gates, Steve Case, Larry Ellison,
Ross Perot and Sam Walton. Each of these people
started with nothing and built a business from
scratch.

The second major source of self-made millionaires in
America is senior executives. Ten percent of the
self-made millionaires in America are men and women
who have joined large corporations and worked with
those corporations for many years. They rose to
positions of seniority, were paid extremely well,
given stock options, profit sharing and bonuses, and
as a result of holding onto the money, they became
millionaires.

Success Pays Big Rewards

Richard Eisner of Disney Corporation received a $126
million dollar bonus in a single year. Lee Iacoca of
Chrysler Corporation was paid $26.7 million dollars
as a bonus in a single year. It's not hard to become
a self-made millionaire when you are making that
kind of money.

The Professional Road To Wealth

The third source of self-made millionaires in
America is doctors, lawyers and other professionals.
Men and women who become very, very good at what
they do and rise to the top of their professions are
eventually paid, very, very well. The top five
percent in every field earn 10 and 20 times as much
as the average person in that field.
Sell Your Way To The Top

The fourth major source of self-made millionaires in
America is salespeople and sales consultants. Fully
five percent of self-made millionaires are men and
women who are the top salespeople in their fields.
They never started their own businesses. They never
went to college or university to get professional
degrees. They just became very good salespeople for
their products or services and were paid very good
money. The secret was that they then invested the
money conservatively and held on to it. 99% of
self-made millionaires come from these four
categories: self-owned businesses - 74%; senior
executive positions - 10%: doctors, lawyers and
other professionals - 10%; and salespeople and sales
consultants - 5%.

Other Ways To Get Rich

The final one percent of self-made millionaires is
made up of all the people in all other areas. This
one percent consists of people who have made their
money by inventions, in show business, in sports,
through authorship of books and songs, lottery
winners and inheritances. But these people make up
only one percent of the total.

The bottom line is that there are so many ways for
you to become a self-made millionaire that it is
almost impossible for you not to achieve this goal
if you are really serious about it.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do to put this
information into action as soon as possible:
First, decide what it is that you really enjoy
doing and then throw your whole heart into doing it
extremely well. There is a direct relationship
between excellent performance and the kind of high
income that leads to financial independence.
Second, be perfectly honest with yourself on an
ongoing basis. Is what you are doing right now going
to lead you to financial independence, or do you
have to begin making some serious changes in your
work and in your life? Whatever your answer, take
action on it immediately.

It's interesting!!

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
— Unknown

Math genius !

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where 

a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the 

entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value 

of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The 

shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to 

go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the

building!

 So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first 

floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking 

and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help  

with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the 

sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on 

this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible 

to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives 

store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been

visited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!